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Puzzle.... [Jan. 20th, 2007|09:00 pm]
Mitch and I have been working on a puzzle for over a week. We sit for a while then come back to it again the next day. I love puzzles. There is something about them that is addicting. You can put something together and see your results. I think everyone should get a puzzle of what their life is and will be and has been. I think it would be really interesting to see what kind of weird-ass picture would pop out for my life...I can imagine several graphic and terrifying things...but I'm stopping now. Anyway. I think it would be neat.

Also, I went to the tanning bed today (cough-cancer-cough). I know. I know. But I think a lot of my depression is linked to the cold and crappy weather and being locked in rooms to read and listen to stupid people all day. The light actually calmed me down. I am going to go once a week now. I have to do something since I can't afford brain cells or guilt on drinking. I miss my 6 month drinking extravaganzas...whiskey and vodka definitely made me feel better.

Last night I went to a high school basketball game. Fairland vs. Chesapeake. It was different. I was surprised to see like 20 people that I graduated with there...except not. I went with a few friends from college. My friend's dad coaches the Panthers...haha. Anyway. It was odd. I was immediately thrown back into high school, which was not necessarily the best experience in Ohio. Colorado rocked, but Ohio was harder for me to make friends and feel accepted. I always have all these internal conflicts going on when I see people from high school because they are so different than all the people everywhere else in the world. Do I say hi? Do they remember me? Are they still mad at me for this thing that happened 5 years ago? It is surprising to me how many of these people still hang out with the same people and still do the same things (ex: going to games). This was the first game I have gone back to ever and the only reason I went was because my friend asked me to come with him so he could support his dad. Anyway. I think I am really insecure and semi-stuck in high school myself because I still worry about stupid stuff like that. I just always liked everyone and they always hated me because their ex-boyfriends liked me or because I wore different clothes or something. I wish I could just be myself and say freaking hi without having all that crap cross my mind...it never did in Colorado.

Well, that is all for now. I need to go back and study.

Hearts and Basketball,
Meg
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AT home and Studying [Jan. 19th, 2007|02:59 pm]
I watched American Idol and I think most people can't sing...at all.
I wish I was a better singer. I think I would go and try out. I am better than a lot of the people they show on TV. Yeah...

Anyway. I think more people need to post actually entries on here. I never have anything to read, but James' entries. So...people need to post.

Meagan
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Working OUT [Jan. 17th, 2007|12:04 pm]
I have been working out a lot lately. I like it. I am actually getting ready to go do some kickboxing now.

It makes me wonder why the other stuff isn't working out...I am working out so hard. I wish I was more optomistic and I wish I knew what the perfect life for me would be. I pray and I read and still nothing comes. I would at least like to have an idea.

I would like to not dream as much as I do that I was not in the life I am in now. I wish I was in my dream-life, whatever that may be. This entry sounds gay.

Meagan
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Change my MAJOR? [Jan. 9th, 2007|05:37 pm]
Let's be honest. I am not the best science person on the planet, but lately I have been so fascinated by it. I think because I always have had to work hard in science to get grades I felt like it wasn't something I should be. I felt like I should do the things that come easy to me...be the classes I get the As in. I feel like I have been shoved towards PSC and ENG and such. I feel like our teachers and mentors push us towards our strenghts even if it is not what we were really most curious about.
I am taking Human Anatomy this semester and I think I might really like it. It could be because I have totally been obsessed with CSI and the like lately. I would like to pick apart cadavers and look through clues to find killers hiding in the dark. Ya. I think mostly I like to dissect things. Though we don't get to dissect anything in this class. I wish I wasn't queezy over blood and needles. I wonder if I could overcome that nasty feeling... Anyway. I guess today I was thinking about what it would be like to be a doctor or a nurse. I never even considered it seriously because science has been so hard for me always. It seems like everyone mom is nurse around here. Zacc's mom was a nurse. She is so smart and hard-working and I always admired that about her. I dunno. I think I wanted to be different and be a writer. I wanted to write down all the stories and ideas I think up in my head, but college has been really draining on my imagination.

I probably need a change of scene and that is why I am imagining being a nurse....during Anatomy. During English I am already having "gender issues" and "oppression of women" shoved down my throat. I am SO F-ING sick of that CRAP. Seriously. We came...we burned our bras...our pay is slowly rising...we can vote...we can murder babies...and we also can say "Each student needs to bring her book to class", but we can't say "Each student needs to bring his book to class" because it IS insensitive. Whatever. That is freaking rediculous. How is that not gender discrimitation? Please tell me. I made this mistake of voicing just this under my breath and was met with "IT is not gender discrimination" as explanation. Thank you...I get it now...I am sure I get it now. Damn liberals trying to make everything complicated with their stupid rules than make no f-ing sense at all...AT ALL. And then...they can't even give a REASONABLE explanation. Honestly...after all the years of oppression I hardly think "her" inplace of "his" when "his or her" is too long is going to make up for being paid several pay grades lower than a man...Thanks for the try though.

I honestly think today is the day of the gay, black, non-privledged man. He could get into a good school because of his skin color...get a job because of his skin color...sue anyone for anything unPC stated. Get robbed...hey...I bet the sentence could be upped to a HATE CRIME. (What murder isn't done through HATE honestly....I thought it was done through love. It is okay to murder a totally random girl that has blonde hair...that isn't a HATE Crime...it is only hate if she happened to be a lesbian) YEAH. See. Isn't this fun? I mostly love that blacks aren't a minority in the world. I love that women aren't a minority in the world. I love that everyone bitches instead of working to be a true equal...not an individual with several world-golfing handicaps. GBM handicap equals 65 points on your LSAT. Rock on. Wait a minute. Didn't he get a lower GPA than me? Didn't he go to public school in an appalachian region, like me? Didn't we have the same classes? Didn't he have more time to study since he didn't do extra curriculars and work to pay for school? Didn't he get his school totally paid for through grants? Well, that's not enough. +65 for GBM...+1 diverse student for Dicks College.

It seems like nothing is fair. Everyone tries to hard to even things out, that they constantly reverse the situation or don't even address the REAL problems. Taking other people down knotches to boost other people up doesn't make sense. Can't we all just be honest with each other? Women have to right not to have sex. Women have the right to birth control- the gov pays for it whether you like it or not. Women have the right to vote. They have the right to protest. They have RIGHTS. But if a man complains about the above sentence structure, not only would he be met with his head being swiftly sacrificed to the fem-nazi monthly sacrifice of insensitive assholes, but he would also be laughed at. "You honestly want "his" made okay when you already have HIStory...what about HERstory". Whatever. I am a woman and I think it is rediculous. I feel like I am being compensated for something that isn't lacking...just leave it at his and her or freaking change the rule so we can say their...I know...it isn't grammatically sound...but it isn't sound to say her because his has been said for so long...because men were in control of language for so long...because of all these people who came before we have to make stupid rules.

Anyway. I just needed to rant on that. My friend scored 30 points higher on her LSAT, but a black guy was chosen over her because he was a black guy. Hear that...it's opportunity knocking...as long as you don't work too hard.

I am mean....yet....truthful.

Don't respond to this. I just needed a vent.
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Christmas and Updates [Dec. 30th, 2006|06:16 am]
I really don't type on here at all anymore. I almost forgot that I even ever blogged on anything until today. I thought I would try it out again.

This semester I was robbed once again of my 4.0. Boo to that. I got As in all my 400 level classes and a B in my 100 level class. What sense does that make? None at all.
I hope next semester is more fun than this semester was. Because everybody is graduating or in grad school or moved or has a different schedule than me, I feel like I never get to hang out with anyone anymore. I feel really lonely. If it weren't for Mitch and SGA I would have no social life...that is pathetic. SGA should never be the beacon of anyone's social life. I guess that is what happens when you work, go to school, and partake in extra curricular activities. Next semester I am taking 16 hours, will have two jobs, my sorority, SGA, and Bible Study. Yah. That is a lot of stuff, but I want to have more FUN. I think I am going to have to give up SGA if I can't get myself more of a social life soon.
Right now I am in Colorado completely buried in snow. It is pretty cool except that I haven't been able to see any of my friends since I have been here. That is a total bummer because I only visit once every 6 months. Tomorrow I will see two of these beloved friends, but then I only have a week to see more. I feel like I never get to spend enough time with anyone and I definitely don't have enough time to keep up with everyone on my phone, especially with everyone working and the time difference.

I think my New Year's Resolutions will be as follows:
1. Get another job
2. Develope a regular workout routine- not sometimes morning, sometimes night
3. Get a 4.0
4. Do something fun at least once a week

I feel really irritated lately about a lot of things. I think I am just especially moody. I hate it when I can't explain my emotions and I just feel like beating the living daylights out of everyone I encounter. I want to be nicer to Mitch. I feel so bad because sometimes I just want to break up with him and move away. I want to move away and take over some random person's life. Preferrably a rich, tan, lovely female's life....with a fast car. That would be nice. I feel so money driven lately, which makes me feel sick if I think about it too much. I feel like I want a lot more money and I need to figure out how to get more money, but I have no idea how this is going to be accomplished in WV...I guess I could donate plasma? (Damn, that fear of needles). I have won three things this year- $500 for my essay, a moviepack prize, and a purse. If I win the other essay contest I entered I am going to enter the lottery. I never win anything...maybe my terrible attitude of life has made me lucky. Bless Cynicism.

I am going to try and write on here more often- I feel a lot better now that I have gotten this on paper.

Hearts and Resolutions,
Meg
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Um.... [Oct. 16th, 2006|02:16 pm]
I don't know what to type, but feel sort of like I should update.
School is going fairly well. I only have like ten papers left to write before the semester ends. I feel accomplished.
I have been filling my schedule up with crazy stuff...and I haven't gone out once this year, unless you count going to tailgate like 30 minutes before the game starts- before the CRAPPY games start. I haven't been to The Union or anything. It is sad.
I hardly see anyone unless they are involved in the same classes and activities that I am. I miss my friends and I miss how things were last semester. I liked the hanging out and having fun last semester, but I dont' have time and I have developed an aversion to drinking more than a beer. Drunk people and that whole atmosphere really erk me now. Mostly because everytime I am around people (ie: tailgates) my ass gets grabbed. And it pisses me off even more than it used to. Alas.
I wish I could go out and not have to worry about my friends getting raped or my ass getting grabbed...oh well. And I get invited to go places and do things and still dont' go. I used to jump at the chance. I guess I am getting old? I dunno.
I am going to work out now...I need to get that done with so I can go home and do more homework.
Lata,
Meg
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How school is so far. [Sep. 22nd, 2006|10:34 am]
[Current Music |The DOVES]

So Far:
SGA is too drama-filled. I wish people would get along with each other and quit going out of their way to make somebody else's life terrible. There are always going to be people you don't like, but get over it. I talk to people I am not fond of everyday, but I continue to look for the good...and I continue to look for the good.
My other classes are rough. Mostly Grammar and Milton are killing me. I want As and I already can tell that I am going to have to dedicate many more hours to study if I plan on getting them. I only have 42 play points in my Grammar class. If I lose any more than that I will not get an A...that sucks. Milton is hard, but I think I can get an A is I take more time drafting my papers. I hate drafting, but my writing is lacking, so I have to.
I love Sylvia Plath. I relate so well to her. I am sure about 40 million women have said that before, but I really really enjoy reading her writing in all its forms. I also like the books that I have read about her. She is amazing.
Mitch is doing really well. He is coming home with me in the winter. WE get to take a road trip to CO. Then we are going boarding. I wish he could see it in the summer and we could all go camping, but I guess we are going to have to wait until next year. He is so sweet. We have been dating for 8 months now and every day he finds some way to make me smile and feel better about my self. Love should lift you up like that.
I miss Lorin a ton. I am glad that we at least got to go down and visit her, now we need to go again. I want to plan some kind of a girl trip down. The FANTASTIC FOURSOME must ride again. I miss Alicia.
What else...well, I went to CRU it was pretty okay. I liked seeing people that I hadn't seen in quite some time. I also am partaking in a Bible Study on Tuesdays. I feel so much more productive in my Bible reading and my studies this year. I am glad that I found a group to be a part of that doesn't conflict with my schedule. CRU conflicts, but I guess I can record Grey's Anatomy. I love Grey's Anatomy, but not more than Jesus.
Well...that's all...
Hearts and HW,
Meg
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School thus far. [Aug. 30th, 2006|09:00 pm]
So far school is rather intense.
I discovered I will not be able to graduate on time unless I take 25 hours next semester...that is really not that bad considering I am a double major and basically 8 hours short of graduating.
Mitch is amazing.
I love microfilm and hearing funny stories about people from eavesdropping...I know I am prime evil.
I miss my Lorin.
I miss friends in general.
Life is crazy.
That is all for now.

Meg
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Summer School...Two Days and Counting [Aug. 8th, 2006|12:06 pm]
I need extra credit...I want an A...I need 3 bonus points to accomplish this. Everyone pray.

I do not know how I am going to make it through the fall semester...I bought some of my books so that I could start reading them now. It is sad when you are reading for school two weeks before it starts...Does this mean that I will have to eliminate myself from the Facebook Procrastination Group...Or have I become more responsible. I don't think I have ever gotten anything done earlier than the day before or of it was due...WOW.

In other news...Mitch's family was super nice and I had a great time. I feel so much better about everything and his mom made a major effort to make this trip better for me. I am a woosie.

I got a ticket for running a stop sign in a place where you can't see the road from anyway...I coasted to a spot to see traffic and continued to go...I got pulled over infront of a business that employees some people that loved seeing me be pulled over if they did actually see me and I had two police cars blocking my car in...for a stop sign. I have to go to court...that sucks.

Melanie had her 5th baby...it was a girl! 4 boys...1 girl. I was so excited. She looks precious.

Everything else is going well...I am tired. I got to see Lorin finally. I am so glad. Hopefully I will get to see her one more time before she leaves for NC again.

Hearts and Signs,
Meg
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6 months more [Jul. 27th, 2006|05:55 pm]
So.
Yesterday was Mitch and I's six monther...woot. It was fairly exciting minus some major gas leaks...fishy gas leaks. Like sushi masquerading about as terds gas leaks...way to go.

I had lunch at Moe's with my friend Caleb today. That was interesting. IT is amazing how people are connected. I would love to figure out that six degrees of separation and get myself hooked up with a Prince or something...no offense Gaseous ONE. Hahahaha. I am mean. Anyway. I don't understand how people can still be pissed at me for things that happened years ago. I am amazed. How is that possible? I hold grudges...so I kind of understand...but eventually you have to let it go. I let it go once an apology is admitted. So there. Anyways. I didn't even realize how many people were pissed at me for being friends with their boyfriends. I have the same boyfriend for years and they all thought I was trying to steal their's. Like I had time to sleep with 20 guys and go to school and do all the crap I was doing. Amazing. And they are still mad at me. I like all of them too and I didn't even know they disliked me until today (3 years and counting later). How is that possible? I am Captain Oblivious. Rock on.

Well, that is really all I gotta say for now. Thanks for the advice on my Lost Feelings...but they continue to loom.
Hearts,
Meg
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